‘Being snappy is a symptom of an argument we forgot to have some way back.’Alain de Botton
‘Arguments should always be held in private. Audiences inflate the ego.’L J Vanier
We are none of us perfect and of course as a result none of our relationships are perfect. We all have our moments when we cannot stand the very sight of our spouse or partner – hopefully these moments are fleeting, if they’re not that’s a whole different area and I’m not going there. So I’m talking about the normal ups and down of relationships – small blips that can render you incandescent with rage but are soon over and forgotten about and hopefully learnt from, or at least just to be avoided in future. It’s the simple machinations of negotiating living with another human being. As I say we all have them, so it’s no secret, but I do think it’s a good idea to try and keep these moments private. There are those who cannot avoid letting small petty disagreements bubble over when out in company and for all others in attendance it truly is, tedious.
Spending an evening in the company of a bickering couple is hard work. Put downs disguised as humour (that presumable one is supposed to laugh at but it’s not funny) I find particularly dispiriting. When we have one of those ‘why the hell did I marry you’ moments it really is prudent to put that emotion to one side when out in company, or at the home of friends. If you really cannot bite your lip and remain civil then STAY AT HOME and let your friends enjoy a pleasant fun-filled evening without you – you won’t be missed!
Or, if you were perfectly happy with your choice of spouse before you went out to dinner, but a personal remark of his or hers has set you a bristling, then delay tactics are best; store it up and give them a verbal bashing on the way home, don’t inflict your ‘personal’ stuff on each other in public. Everyone else is left to shift awkwardly wishing you hadn’t come.